aside from the obvious. yes i want kids to know the lord. yes i want to love the crap outta high schoolers who may not get that anywhere else. yes i want to give my life away.
i have never been pushed so hard or stretched so far as i have been leading young life. don't get me wrong. it's great. i have to be so much better, so much smarter, so much nicer than i am. i have to wholly surrender myself to the lord and let him use me because if i tried to lead by myself i'd fall flat on my face. when a kid calls me and asks me to get coffee to talk about something but i have a project to do i have to ditch my work. i am obligated to love that kid over anything i had to do. which is awesome. i am forced to give myself up. it's my job. which has a negative connotation i guess but honestly i love it. because i know i'd be far too self absorbed and selfish to give myself up if i didn't have to. so i love that i have to. i love that i'm called to do it. that i have to spend twice as much money as any normal person on gas. because really? what else would i spend that on... shoes? things i don't need. as opposed to a high school kid who needs that extra ten minutes in the car to talk. i couldn't make it about me if i tried.
i lead young life so that he may become greater and i may become less.
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