so two weeks ago i was giving the sin talk at young life. we split the gospel in half and talk about the sin in our hearts and how we have separated ourselves from god one week, and then bring the good news that christ died for us to take away our sin the next week. these are the two biggest and most important talks we do in young life. so i prepared for days and practiced in front of my mirror. and in front of about 40 kids last tuesday i got up to tell them half of the most important thing they will ever hear in their lives. and oh boy did it not go well. i know i have a reputation of being a "fun" leader and sometimes it makes it difficult for kids to take me seriously. and i guess that's what happened because it was the worst received talk i've ever witnessed. kids were calling out, saying ridiculous things, talking, texting, not paying attention. worse than i've ever encountered in my 8 years of young life. it was so bad that at the end my coleader had to get up and instill a little fear of the lord in the kids. she is new and people tend to take her really seriously so she got up and tried shut them up. and it worked a little. but i have never been angry like i was angry after that talk. not that it's the angriest i've ever been (ask the punching bag in my basement), it was just a different type of anger than i'd ever experienced this vividly.
i left the room after my talk to cool myself down. i mean i was pissed. and at first i thought it was my pride. like i was mad that kids didn't think what i had to say was important. that they didn't listen to me. but that happens all the time with high school kids, and quite truthfully i don't really care. then i thought it was because a lot of the kids who called out were campaigner kids, our core group of high schoolers who understand and support what we do. i thought i was pissed because the kids who are my actual friends weren't backing me up. and then this realization washed over me that it wasn't about me. at all. i was pissed because they were mocking my (and their) maker. they were laughing at the very thing that kept jesus on the cross. they lightheartedly belittled the line between life and death. i was righteously angry that they didn't listen to what god was saying through me.
well i took a minute to pray about it and cool down. the lord works in ways that aren't always visible to us so i had to trust. that his message would get to them somehow. but later after i had dropped all the kids off i just cried in my car. i cried and worshipped and prayed. forgive them father for they know not what they do. so i gave up that righteous anger and prayed my heart out that they would still hear and understand the message.
redemption prevailed last week when i got to give the cross talk. the second half. the good news. it was by far the best talk the lord has ever breathed through me. not a kid spoke. dead silence. respect for the word of god. and tears. heartfelt tears came with the understanding of exactly what christ did for them. their god. MY GOD. and with that came joyful peace for me. no more righteous anger.
