i can feel myself pushing worldly qualities. i want people to see me as funny. or pretty. or cool. or a good artist. or whatever. because in my small mind that's what makes people like me. and want to be around me.
reality? the most attractive thing about me is christ in me. nothing draws people in more than the lord working through me. i know it. i've seen it. i need to cling to it. not so i can attract more people and feel better about myself or have more friends or anything, but because that's what i need to exude. christ. at all times. i do not want anyone to see anything else in me but the lord working through me. whether they know it or not it attracts them. and in a way god can bring people closer to him. through me. i want to be that tool. but i can't do it if i let myself get in the way.
i don't want to try to be anything. i want to step down and let god work through me. i want him to infiltrate my words, my actions, my thoughts- daily.
i don't want anyone to see ANYTHING but christ in me. whether they know it or not.
